My Friday was a little bit of an absurd one. I ended up leaving work about an hour early to get a couple beers with some bros from work. A couple beers turned into 7-8 in a matter of a couple hours and I was SUPER buzzed. Got home, got ‘blazed’ and ordered some pizzas from Pizza Hut. I passed out right after I ordered the pizza and awoke to the Pizza Hut guy at my door. I ate pizza and watched a movie and then passed out again until 2am when my roomates came home… Completely ridiculous evening. Then I woke up today at 930am, got blazed, and worked on tha HIZ video for about 8 hours or so. It’s going to blow a couple minds I hope.

HIZ

A few weekends ago, I took the bus into town to get my hair cut. As I was getting off the bus, I noticed an old woman in a wheelchair talking on a cell phone across the street, wearing jean shorts, a black tank top, sunglasses, and fingerless black weight-lifting gloves. All of a sudden she starts SHREIKING into the phone: “GET OVER IT!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!” After repeating it a couple times, she cupped her hand around the mouthpiece to amplify her horrifying sound and repeated it several more times.

As I was directly across the street from her as this happened, I folded in half and laughed my ass off for all to see. I’m pretty lucky she didn’t see me, because she probably would have called me and done the same thing.

-Luke

There are pretty much two things that editorial cartoons are supposed to do: They look nice and they make a point. Ted Rall is incapable of doing either of these things.

Art

Look at this fucking mess. For just a second, let’s ignore the fact that Ted Rall cannot draw human beings well. Some cartoonist do just fine with outlines and inking. Not Ted Rall.

Look at the man holding his son’s hand. The duo is drawn as if they are either two dimensional posters pasted onto the wall or three dimensional human beings who somehow defy Euclidean geometry. Speaking of impossibilities, the door there looks like it has swung outward and through the wall. Also, the sitting part of the church (the nave?) in the background isn’t perpendicular to the vestibule in the foreground. I guess it’s going off in some impossible angle. In addition, the pews are divided as if there were another aisle beyond the one we see in the drawing. I don’t know a lot of churches that have multiple aisles like that. Even if it had multiple aisles, there is no entrance for that other aisle. Also, the photographer is inexplicably taking a picture of the back of the police officer.

Finally, Dr. Tiller was shot once in the head. He was not shot in the stomach, and there were not multiple shots fired requiring all those shell markings.

Point

This cartoon has no point. It’s essentially a quote from an anti-abortion guy about how Dr. Tiller had “his hands covered with blood.” Then it features little captions describing each person. (Of course Rall has the black guy voting for Obama.) Is this somehow saying that we are all responsible for his murder because we take part in the political system and pay taxes and serve in the military ? Because that is fucking asinine and makes no sense.

Alex

I just found out that the website I download the majority of my beats from is having a video contest. All I have to do is submit a video (via youtube) using a beat from their site. So if you see my post below, you would know that I was planning on shooting a new video. This just makes your imput that much more important. I plan on making my video for the track Y’all Burdz, which can be listened to http://www.myspace.com/thahiz. I am in the process of storyboarding some amazing ideas. I would appreciate some input- themes, locations, anything you’d like to see tha HIZ do, etc. Holla!

HIZ

edit: PS keep in mind that I have access to a green screen and professional lighting…

I am going to start filming a new HIZ video really soon. I want to see if any of you idiots have any sort of ideas that you think would be funny in a HIZ vid. If you haven’t seen the original masterpiece, then here you go: . Shit quality, but it doesn’t take away from the genius that is tha HIZ.
HIZ

WELCOME TO THE PRESSURE ZONE.

So the best Michael Jackson video ever is Smooth Criminal and everyone should know this. Although there was some weird stuff in there like when he shoots a guy and then the guy slides backward and burns a silhouette into a wall, or when all those little kids were looking at the scene through the window. At this point, Michael Jackson had already started going off the deep end so those kinds of things are understandable, but this video is just the best.

Everyone knows Thriller is great but it really is not better than Smooth Criminal.

Black or White. This video I have some problems with. First of all, why are Micauly Culkin and the guy from Cheers in this video? What does this little intro vignette have to do with anything at all whatsoever? Terrible. Then it goes to Arfrica and Michael is dancing there, and then he’s dancing with some Asian people, and then with some Native Americans who are inexplicably dancing and firing rifles wildly into the air. Okay. Then it goes to this rap break-it-down section where little kids are rapping and it really doesn’t make any sense. Then some more stuff happens that I forget about and then it goes to that face-morphing thing which is fine.

Then, a black panther which happened to be hanging around morphs into Michael Jackson. He walks onto an extremely steamy street and starts dancing. Awesome. This rules. Then he gets on a car and starts scream and smashing windows in. This is fucking great. BUT THEN SOME EDITOR CAME AND FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. The windows of the cars have all been digitally altered so that they have swastikas and “NIGGERS GO HOME” graffitied on them. So his random act of violence is now some kind of admirable stand against hatred. He even throws a steering wheel through a window with “KKK RULES” written on it.

WHO WOULD EVER WRITE THAT ON A WINDOW IN YELLOW AND ORANGE AIRBRUSHED FONT? People who are in the KKK for real are too busy holding sad secret meetings and burning crosses and being in a constant state of economic despair to start TAGGING.

The reason they edited all this shit in was because they wanted to make the vandalism “more palatable” (according to Wikipedia). Fuck, the video was made in 1993, by which point Terminator 2 had introduced every American child to the notion of getting a liquid metal finger stabbed through your eyedome. Breaking a bunch of glass isn’t gonna hurt anyone.

Anyway, Michael then falls down and shoots some sparks off somehow and then a big sign collapses and catches on fire. None of this makes any sense.

Scream is good too. Watch that video and try not to be impressed at how it looks. You fail at this endeavor.

Alex

Apparently Michael Jackson has the flu.

I sure hope he’s ok…

-Luke

My mom just referred to Kurt as “the tall funny one” because she couldn’t think of his name.

-Luke

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